Dr. Michael R. MacDonald
Self-confidence is all about believing in yourself and your abilities. It is a type of useful knowledge about yourself, usually based on experience.
Self-confidence is that general positive feeling about yourself that can involve several components.
A Closer Look
Let’s examine the many elements that make up self-confidence. Here are a few to consider.
Trusting yourself: You feel reliable and capable. You know you can count on yourself to follow through on things. You know that you can get things done, especially things that matter.
Positive self-belief: You believe in your ability to succeed, even when things get tough.
Strengths and weaknesses: You have a realistic understanding of what you’re good at and what areas you might need to improve in.
Positive self-image: You accept yourself for who you are, flaws and all.
Here are some signs of high self-confidence:
- You set and achieve your goals: You’re not afraid to challenge yourself and go after what you want.
- You can try new things: You’re open to new experiences and willing to step outside your comfort zone.
- You practise healthy communication: You can express yourself clearly and assertively.
- You can handle criticism: You can take feedback in stride and use it to improve.
Let’s Get Specific
Your self-confidence may show up when you are involved with different activities and in different settings. For example, you may feel self-confident in social settings. This is often where others may notice your confidence.
The type of setting can be important. Some people thrive in small group settings, whereas others love being the centre of large group gatherings.
You might feel confident in school, but not when you attempt sports activities. You would be a rare person if you felt confident in all areas of life. You might even be delusional or narcissistic, if you displayed such wide-ranging confidence – or very lucky to have such diverse skills.
Self-Confidence is Not Narcissism
Although they can be related.
Genuinely confident people can celebrate others’ achievements without feeling threatened. They know that someone else’s success doesn’t diminish their own worth. Narcissists, on the other hand, often feel envious and may try to downplay or criticize others’ accomplishments.
People who act in a narcissistic way are not truly self-confident. They may act all put together, but have feet of clay. Minor shakeups can make them crumble – or shatter whatever confidence they were trying to sell.
Toxic Messages
Even common messages can be toxic, especially for girls and young women who live on social media. Instagram and Facebook are common outlets for people that want to brag or pretend that their lives are wonderful. Readers of these amazing posts may have trouble avoiding a hit to their own self-confidence. It’s hard not to feel that you don’t measure up.
Also common are exaggerated sales pitches on YouTube. People who try to convince you that you too can earn a million dollars, or earn enough to quit your job, or retire early, if only you sign up for their new business course. Exposing yourself to these never ending breathless sales pitches can also erode your self-confidence.
You can protect yourself by being selective on what you watch. YouTube and all social media know what you watch. And the more you engage, the more of this similar content will sent to your feed.
According to recent studies, detailed in Max Fishers’ The Chaos Machine, the social media algorithms can feed you even more toxic and extreme messages the more you engage over time. When you hear about people going down the rabbit hole, it is them spiralling down. It can become more like circling the toilet bowl, than a rabbit’s hole.
Your confidence and self-esteem can be harmed in dangerous ways.
The Benefits of Appearance
On the flip side, some people can use their ability to appear self-confident to their advantage, even when they are anxious and uncertain. And they can do this without harming others.
For example, stage actors, live musicians or public speakers often feel nervous before they are about to perform. With experience they learn to use this nervous energy to augment their performance. They know that such energy can give their performance an extra level of intensity, which audiences crave.
How to Boost Your Self-Confidence
Here are a few ideas.
- Build upon your strengths. Pay attention to the things you are good at and the things that make you feel good about yourself. Celebrate them. Then make a plan to keep learning and improving. This is a lifelong and rewarding process.
- Surround yourself with positive and supportive people. These are people that lift you up and make you feel alive. These people are your champions. You can boost your self-confidence by also being a champion of them and others. We all need champions in our lives.
- Just showing up puts you ahead of most people. Be the kind of person that other people can count on. Be reliable, caring and willing to say yes to getting the job done. You can feel proud to be, or become, that kind of person – the ones that make the world go round.
- Boost your energy level. Self-confidence is elevated when you feel motivated and energized. You can find some ideas to help in a previous article of mine. Even a little caffeine can help. Then you can take on the world and feel confident as you do so.
- Avoid too much negativity. Fear, pessimism and negativity are really counterproductive. Unfortunately, they are all around us – in all types of media, gossip, and news shows. They steal your energy and offer little in return. Worst of all are the repetitive programs that can hijack your confidence about yourself and the world.
It has never been more important to protect your self and your confidence.
This article was originally published on Sixtyandme.com.
Until next time, let our warm hearts soar!
Michael
michael@aWarmHeart.ca
And thank you for caring that little bit extra – it really makes a big difference.
